My mom, aunt and grandma were always very nicely put together with flattering makeup and accessories, and I remember that giddy feeling in my stomach when I looked in the mirror and felt like I was starting to look like them when I added a little mascara.
Divorce can be a traumatic experience, and in this case, it made me begin to take stock of my life. I began to reflect on my failed romantic relationships and why this was a repeat pattern for me. I realized then that I never let people in for fear they will let me down, belittle or make me feel small, or otherwise diminish me in some way.
I keep people at a distance, and this impacts my ability to have close, connected relationships. Have you ever struggled with trust issues thinking they were caused by something outside yourself?
That trust was a matter of what other people did, how they treated you, or how they disappointed you? This was a surprising revelation. But, it helped me realize what I needed to do in order to truly trust other people—that was begin by trusting myself.
You may have trust issues as well if: We keep ourselves closed off from all the opportunities available to us. Let me tell you a story about how this has played out in my life.
One day I was out walking along a beautiful beach with a girlfriend. I was basically checked out, and I rarely noticed when others made attempts at engagement.
There have been many occasions when a person was about to open a door for me, but I was so busy being independent that I opened ir myself without even noticing their attempted act of kindness.
This left me living a life that was mostly isolating and solo. Humans are social creatures, and we need human connection to feel alive and complete. Yes, people will sometimes disappoint us, and yes, people will occasionally do malicious things.
But, in the end, we have to get over this. We need to move on from continuously licking our wounds so we can heal them and start living fully again.
As children we were naturally trusting, sharing our toys, our thoughts, and our hearts with abandon. While it can be good to have a healthy dose of skepticism so as not to become victims—and we need to teach our kids to stay away from strangers to keep them safe—it is not healthy to remain closed off and shut down from the world.
We must learn to trust despite knowing we may get hurt. It is only by opening our hearts that we can have flourishing relationships, see the opportunities around us, and begin to live a more fulfilled life. What happens when people let you down?
You accept that they are imperfect beings and move on. What happens when you let yourself down? You do the same thing. This is where I think I got hung up. I had a hard time trusting myself because I never accepted myself as a flawed and imperfect being.
I could never get over my own disappointment when I let myself down. What are some ways I let myself down? Letting myself remain in an abusive relationship Lying about my drinking addiction and hiding it from my family and friends Not following through on a job opportunity I was too afraid I might get rejected Not having the confidence to follow my dreams Acting in ways that were counter to my moral values We can lose trust in ourselves in many ways, but then we can also build that trust back up.
I began to make conscious choices to change that. I got help for my drinking problem. I found the courage to take baby steps toward my ambitions, and each time I did, I built on that success.
I focused on developing my personal strengths and growing as a person. Most of all, I strived to do the best I could in any given situation. Did I fail sometimes? Did I still let myself down?
And this is okay. And I could do the same for other people.Ready to Learn About Yourself?
To get you started, I designed a series of weekly self-assessment challenges. Each focuses on just one aspect of your life, like how you spend your money or how to discover your values. These challenges force you to get out of your head and to take action.
Letting the hard times make you stronger is one key in how to learn about yourself. Here are 3 things I learned about myself in a hard time. Oct 05, · I learned it by myself, I learned it myself(is it right in oral english if i don't use by), or I taught myself.
"it" refers to a language, it could be english, chinese, spanish,etc. lolenglish, Oct 4, I have learned and integrated deeper levels of love, connection, and compassion with myself and others through this work.
As a result, all of my relationships have benefited and transformed for the better. Jan 26, · Learn to laugh at yourself both when it happens and afterward. Turn it into a funny story that you can share with others.
It lets them know that you're 91%(). Squirmy Wormy: How I Learned to Help Myself [Lynda Farrington Wilson] on initiativeblog.com *FREE* shipping on qualifying offers. Many kids have some form of SPD (Sensory Processing Disorder), but who can help them overcome their daily struggles?
Wait they can help themselves! Lynda Farrington Wilson/5(67).
Learning about yourself is a challenge for everyone. But, the clearer picture you have, the more likely you are to choose a satisfying career. It is important to write your ideas down. You may find this difficult to do, many do. But, it will make a big difference in your self-understanding. For me, the first step to learning to love myself was learning to notice myself. It was a slow process of peeling my identity away from the others I had glued it to. Over time, I learned. Sep 27, · How to Learn to Accept Yourself. In this Article: Acknowledging How You Think About Yourself Challenging Your Inner Critic Creating Compassion for Yourself Getting Help Community Q&A Self-acceptance is the ability to unconditionally value all parts of yourself. This means that you value the good parts as well as the parts that you think need improvement%().